Where Do I Go From Here? by Allan Lockridge

 Allan Lockridge

I became very aware of my cynicisms of our world with the presidential election of 2000. I so feared what would happen to NM were the results to show that we had not gone for George Bush. I feared some kind of (probably valid) retribution. So, I wanted to vote against him but feared what would happen and knew I might have to vote for him!

After all was said and done, 1. I don’t remember how I voted and, 2. What with the events of “9/11” I guess he forgot about us and turned to the rest of the country – and the world – to “screw-up”!

I probably should have gone a bit further back to the inauguration day of Reagan as the Iranian hostages were released. We knew there had to have been some kind of “conspiracy” involved! But the “theatrics” and “charisma” and hope-for-the-future of Reagan set out doubts aside.

I know my trust in the president has to go back to my dad and President Eisenhower. Ike had been a career military hero. My dad had likewise been a career military hero, at least in our eyes. He had served 30 years in the Army Air Corps and Air Force from 1925 to 1955 and I felt such a great trust in his judgments.  Might have been a bit of fear as a factor but still he seemed to always be right. Many years later we would become aware of some of his imperfections.

I reflect on how this “trust” of our leading politicos has led me to change the course of my life, or at least to the change in my attitude and of my personal philosophy. I so believed in our righteousness as Americans in that we would always do the best for the world itself or for American interests that we could do no wrong! Korea, though not a war, was at least a war against real aggression and a probably-real -threat towards a greater war. But history seems to more-and-more expose the real reasons that an extended involvement in Vietnam was used to cover up more deeply held “secret” agendas and cover-ups.

Unfortunately the agendas’ of presidents, congressional members and corporation profits don’t ever justify the destruction and death that ensued. This episode in Americans giving their lives to protect us at home is a name still reflected in the defense of why our foreign policies still are urged to the benefit of industry and political agendas. But we innocent ones trusted our leaders so much that we, myself included, joined the military to serve our country. I believe in our country so much that I followed by dad’s and my two older brothers into military service.

And we followed our leaders as they protected our interests by invading Granada, and Panama, and an involvement into wars in Iraq, twice! A reflection on history will show us more and more of the “real” interests we had in the Persian Gulf area and of the influence of leaders (religious, political, business) in that area are the real reasons for our multi-trillion dollar wars; wars started under false assumptions by knowing leaders and leading to so much death and destruction! And using the platitudes of patriotism and keeping us safe at home never excuses the death and injury and sacrifices of so many of our patriotic American men and women. Almost destroying our economy, almost destroying our standing in the eyes of the world (and we still have to live in this world), almost destroying our political system, and almost destroying the trust we have of one-another here in the U.S. does not exempt these many political and corporate leaders from responsibility and guilt in their self-serving agendas!

Where do I go from here? Who do I trust? The old saying goes; “I only trust thee and me, and I’m not to sure of thee”!